Gentle Ben

I am owned by a Benjamin. A Benjamin is a 5-year-old Golden Labrador. I got Ben a month ago from a shelter. He had been there 6 months. They were not able to re-home him as he has special physical needs....He chose me. I had no say in the matter. He is a perfect dog: travels well; walks on and off the lead are pleasant enough; socializes with our dogs; is great around my horse, and the three of us have fantastic outrides together. The dullness has left his eyes. He has a gleam in his coat and a twinkle in his eye—and he has stolen my heart.

(After a couple of weeks, Ben had an experience that suddenly escalated his anxiety and affected his behavior.) 

Now Ben has become anxious and obsessed with my 2 very spoilt cats. His anxiety levels are just about doubling each night. He is as good as gold during the day, but when the family sits down in front of the TV he doesn’t stop wining and pacing around the furniture. The cats are now getting used to him, so allow him to come really close, and this has led to him being even more obsessive about them. He has shown no real aggression towards them. He just wants to get under their skin...Every few minutes there is hissing and furniture goes flying. The only time there is peace in the home is when Ben is sent to bed early. My husband is keen to have Ben outside all of the time (it is possible in South Africa as our weather is very mild), but I want him to be a fully integrated part of the family.

Although we are very new at Dialogue, I have seen some changes in Ben AKA “Squeaky toy Benjamin Hempel.” We have had him 6 weeks now from the shelter. He started off as good as gold, but two weeks in he got a severe case of separation anxiety… .I couldn’t move in the house without him crying himself hoarse at the windows.... He is now much quieter and has got his voice box back....The cats are still an issue, but once we get the STAY exercise entrenched, we will start working on it. Thank you again for your help and encouragement. I finally feel that anybody can learn to have Dialogue with their dog.  Three dogs in my area are starting to do Dialogue. My aunt specifically went out and got a shelter dog as she now is confident that she can overcome any “issues” he may come with.  

(Some weeks later)

Things are going great. We no longer have to mail you with everything we don't get right... we are starting to do some problem solving ourselves. After a month of doing Dialogue, I was finally brave enough to start socialising Ben with other dogs....Ben is a firm favourite with all the dogs and their owners and has picked up the nickname "Big Ben". We have had so many little triumphs. He Sit-Stays beautifully for every dog that goes by, and as a result, many of them stop to chat, which he is thrilled with. Even the little dogs are getting over his size. He can now play off-lead with the bigger dogs....My once aggressive friend is now full of confidence and even allows bigger dogs to approach. And he has lots of patience with the puppies and allows them to chew on most of his body parts. The most memorable encounter was with the same small dog whom he attacked six weeks ago. The little dog flew across the road at Ben, barking and nipping at him.  Ben did not move out of the Sit-Stay I had put him on. His tail was even wagging. The owner of the little dog came over and commented on how good Ben was. If she only knew what he got up to last time they met! Dialogue has given Ben the confidence to assess each situation he comes across, but more importantly it has given me confidence in him. I believe his aggressive days are over. I have gone from literally running in the other direction when I would see an off-lead dog to being disappointed now that we don't meet more dogs on our route. The cats are still an issue, but he is fine if I give him a command. Last night I had him sitting (on leash) two meters from the cat in Sit-Stay, and I made a fuss of the cat... no problem. My husband has upgraded him to Normal Dog again. We are aiming for Phenomenal Dog with Dialogue. Thank you Judy. We can't stop smiling and wagging our tails!

(Some years later)

I have just got back from 6 months of maternity leave, and I just want to let you know how wonderful our Benjamin is. He has really thrived with me being home so much, so me going back to work is a shock to everyone’s system.  I originally had some concerns about the new baby, walking with both pram and dog and his fear of toddlers….I should have known that Dialogue would cover it all. Ben has a new love in his life--Logan (our baby boy), and as a result, the pram. If anyone goes near the pram, he thinks it is walk time. His bubble is now a slightly odd shape with baby in the centre, but he has taken it in his stride. When I say “come” and am not standing next to the pram, he returns to the pram instead of to me! He is incredibly gentle with Logan and has taken a keen interest now that Logan has started on solids. Thank goodness he learned the “leave” command to stop him scavenging for bones on walks. It is just as handy with teething biscuits!

Our “mad lab” who wanted to eat our cats now allows the very elderly female to lie across his belly, and she sleeps in his kennel with him on cold days. Our male Siamese still has jealous turf wars with Ben, but there is no blood involved!

Our house has been overrun with toddlers. I had a real fear about this because originally if anyone would raise their arms around Ben, he would snap. That, too, has changed. I make sure that the children are gentle with him, and he is now a big tub of love. They tickle and cuddle him, and he has trained them to kick a ball for him.

The last major change is how gentle he has become with other male dogs…. He has quite a few dog friends that I can now allow him to “play rough” with without me worrying about him becoming aggressive. He is very long-suffering with the playful young dogs and shares toys, chew hooves and even food.

Once again, Judy, thank you for Dialogue. Our Benjamin is a happy, well-adjusted dog who now loves life.

Julie, Port Elizabeth, South Africa